I spent a lot of spoons yesterday. Applied for a job, and had a meeting with my alma mater's career office. It was kind of validating to hear that my advisor thinks this industry is "tricky to get into". Just got to keep chipping away at the wall and eventually it'll come down.
TWO THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (SPECIFIC)
1. I'm grateful for my wife who opened up to me that my depression has been worse than usual and she's been taking the brunt of it (I vent a lot). Might sound like a weird thing to be grateful for but now I can walk into therapy with something specific to discuss.
2. I'm grateful for my therapist. After the better part of a decade, I can say I've never clicked with a therapist like this. We're the same age (he'd have been a high school senior when I was a sophomore), so we know all the same music and movies. And bonus, he likes D&D.
ONE THING THAT WENT WELL DURING THE DAY
I'd say my meeting with my alma mater went very well. I got praised for my resume/cover letter writing skills improving vastly. Gave me a nice little shot of dopamine. So I went home and applied for another writing gig. I'll apply to another one today. Gotta keep moving forward.
ONE ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL ACTION ITEM FOR THE DAY
I have another job to apply for today so that is probably the critical action for the day, but I still have my D&D One Shot to work on. Which I guess means I have TWO critical action items for the day. Both should be totally doable.
WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND
Since I have a therapy session today I'm feeling rather introspective. I studied theatre in college and auditioned for every show for years. It never paid off but it did gut my self-confidence. When things don't look like they'll pay off I panic and bounce.
The thing is, the failings of said theatre department are well documented. I *know* it wasn't my failing. I *know* even the golden children felt abandoned and adrift after graduation. I *know* my tilted brain doesn't care.
But I am getting better.
All best,
Shane Zellow
P.S. for anyone curious, both these articles are about faculty from my department 🙄
Comments