Yesterday's mandatory holiday conversation with the biologicals turned into a fight and left me drained and angry. Apparently, they wanted all my spoons for Christmas and they got them. The off-brand Fitbit that my in-laws got me visibly tracked my stress levels going up.
TWO THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (SPECIFIC)
1. My wife, with her anxiety and her depression, asked if I wanted her to step in and tell said biological relative to fuck off. My wife is one of the quietest, most socially timid people I know. I am so fucking grateful for her.
2. I haven't mentioned them before on the blog, but I am so grateful for my adoptive family, who took me in when I showed up on their doorstep with a duffle bag and a Slurpee after a fight with said biological relative. They are wonderful, wild, flawed, and loving people.
ONE THING THAT WENT WELL DURING THE DAY
I should have hung up the phone long before I did but afterward, while sitting down with my wife, we discussed how this could inform my boundaries with said biological relative in the future. Previously my "I'm hanging up now" boundary was politics. Now I'm adding insults.
ONE ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL ACTION ITEM FOR THE DAY
I haven't seen any updated job postings so I think we're back to my D&D One Shot. I think I can have it done by New Years but don't hold me to that!
Or do. Maybe I need the external pressure.
WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND
I think it's pretty clear what's on my mind, but on a more positive note, I got "The Art of Language Invention" by David J. Peterson for Christmas and started playing with Phonetic Inventories, y'know, for fun!
One last thought, I once confided in my therapist that I hated how hard it is and how long it takes me to process my emotions and he simply asked me why that was a bad thing. Touche good sir. I appreciate him saying that, even if I still want to process things faster.
All best,
Shane Z.
P.S. If you're reading this, congratulations on the engagement you two!
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