Today is one of those 'death of a thousand annoyances' kinds of mornings. My internet keeps fritzing in and out. I slept like shit (again). I would like a redo on this morning. Just start over. Try again. I guess that means it's time to take stock of some mental exercises.
TWO THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (SPECIFIC)
1. Blugh, okay so yesterday was a pretty solid therapy session. I am always grateful for the consistency in having a weekly session as my life spirals in new (not new) fun (not fun) ways. We discussed emotional investments in relationships in a really thoughtful way.
2. I'm grateful that when I checked my weight this morning I had finally dropped below 200 lbs for the first time since April 2019. This is a huge weight off my ... well, everything. Last fall I peaked at 229 lbs and I feel so much more in control of my life now. 199.8 lbs, baby!
ONE THING THAT WENT WELL DURING THE DAY
Yesterday felt like the day that time forgot. Outside of therapy and meeting with the psychiatrist, I managed to go for my daily walk, despite just ... not being mentally present. Maybe that morning do-over needs to extend to all of yesterday instead.
ONE ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL ACTION ITEM FOR THE DAY
Everything I didn't do yesterday that I should have done? Apply for that internship, work on my writing, but if I'm totally honest with you, I just want to sleep. Like, I really just want to sleep. Oh, and I need to meet up with a player to discuss character creation.
WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND
If I ever revisit these blog posts I wonder how I'll react. Would you ever want to revisit something written on a shitty mental health day? For me, I dunno. I guess it's hard to let it stand. Like I want to smooth off the rough edges. But here it is. Kind of a trust fall moment.
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