So. I have several roommates and last night, one of them invited over five friends. They arrived between 1 and 2 in the morning and just finally left. I got very little sleep and secluded myself for most of the day. They didn't do anything wrong, but I hated every second of it.
TWO THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (SPECIFIC)
1. I have to be grateful while sleep deprived, huh? Love it. I am grateful for some friends for inviting me to run a one-shot with them. Even if they added me to a neverending group-chat that I never asked for and kinda want to throttle them for blowing up my phone.
2. I am grateful for "The Legend of Vox Machina". I love Critical Role, I love the cast, I love these idiot heroes. I am super psyched for season 3 (there'd better be a season 3). Power to a bunch of nerdy-ass voice actors for pulling off the best fantasy show currently airing.
ONE THING THAT WENT WELL DURING THE DAY
I went through papers. I have so many papers. I've had several epochs of my life where I basically had to start from scratch. Getting kicked out, going to college, and graduating all came with massive changes. Papers tended to get shoved in boxes and forgotten about. Until now.
ONE ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL ACTION ITEM FOR THE DAY
This late in the day I just want to eat a light lunch and go for my walk before the temperature starts dropping. I'm so tired and I'm so hangry. I think I'll cut myself a little bit of slack. I could not prepare for the brigade of early 20-something girls giggling all night.
WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND
Going through papers was ... hard. Finding stuff going all the way back to middle school and feeling totally disconnected to whoever that kid was. It's disorienting. It's only been the last few years that I've started to realize how deep the trauma embedded itself.
I can't say I enjoyed it, appreciated it, or learned from it ... but I don't think I regretted discovering all these old bits of myself? Seeing the kid I was, seeing the coping mechanisms that I used to navigate the life I'd been handed. A different life, that's for sure.
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