I'm not going to dress it up for you lovely folk; today my depression is at a high. Getting out of bed to go for a walk was a challenge. I managed it. I did it. I'm just so tired. And sad. And tired. But I'm still here. I was here yesterday and I'll be here tomorrow.
TWO THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (SPECIFIC)
1. Hey, on a day like this who could I be more grateful for than my wife, who sticks by me even on days like this? I did still manage to cook her breakfast this morning before crawling back into bed so I'm still pulling my weight, I promise. Gotta treat her right.
2. I'm still grateful for Souls games and the lore community around them. Getting out of bed might be hard but learning about the Greater Will and whether or not it is an Outer God ... no actually still kinda hard.
ONE THING THAT WENT WELL DURING THE DAY
I got to play D&D with some friends last night and I one-shot a goblin. Rogues are my favorite. Between Assassinate and Sneak Attack that poor goblin never had a chance. And now I've made myself feel sad for the unnamed goblin.
ONE ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL ACTION ITEM FOR THE DAY
With how depressed I've felt all day it might be best if I don't put a lot of expectations on myself. Not right now. I'm not committed to hustle culture but taking a break, resting, taking care of myself, none of these make sense to me.
WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND
Why for am I so sad? Like, I mean, I have depression and anxiety. It's just kinda how my brain works. But still. Why? Why today? Why now? I played D&D with friends. I went for a walk in the sunshine. I ... just want to crawl into bed and cease to be for a while.
AS NEEDED, A BRIDGE OF SELF-COMPASSION
The good news is, like I said, I didn't let this stop me. I got up, brushed my teeth, showered, went grocery shopping, cooked breakfast, and went for a walk. Mood aside. That's got to count for something, right?
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