Okay, so I've talked a lot recently about going to therapy and having some breakthroughs in setting boundaries and standing up for myself. I am starting to feel like I might be running before walking, y'know? I feel like my social life is in a tumble dryer right now.
TWO THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (SPECIFIC)
1. I am grateful for my medication. I'm on a higher dose of anti-depressant meds and I'm feeling a little more functional. I mentioned my sister the other day and one of the many things we disagree about is medication. She is staunchly opposed to ... most everything I care about
2. I am grateful for said therapy. I mean, I talk about it. A lot. And that's only partially because I have neither a job nor a social life, but let's face it, running before walking is still better than stagnating in toxic and unhealthy coping mechanisms. You dig?
ONE THING THAT WENT WELL DURING THE DAY
More writing! Feeling good! When I started this book I based the characters on my friends (at the time). Now that I am without a social life you can guess that said friendships have changed over time. I revamped the characters to be more fictional and therefore easier to write.
ONE ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL ACTION ITEM FOR THE DAY
Trade-off of writing in the morning is it pushes the blog back so kinda ran out the clock. That said, what is an absolutely critical action item for tomorrow? Hmmmn. Maybe I can keep this writing train rolling? Sound good?
WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND
Earlier, what I meant by walking and running is that once I started asking, "Why do you subject yourself to these relationships," I found it hard to stop. It was a complete paradigm shift on my part. For half a second, I was ready to napalm every bridge I have (not really).
Fortunately, I am not a super rash, impulsive person (not anymore at least) so I didn't do anything I'm likely to regret. I unfollowed that half-sister and otherwise, just kinda sat back in a holding pattern, mulling it over. No relationship is perfect and that's okay.
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