So I might be having a breakdown/panic attack/not-very-fun time. Like, right now. Blogging definitely seems like a healthy way to navigate this emotional state. Not entirely sure what set this off. I was feeling pretty good. I went for my walk, had lunch, and then crashed.
TWO THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (SPECIFIC)
1. I am grateful for ... y'know, it's occurring to me that this might be a bad moment to write a blog. Either way, I'm grateful for all the techniques my therapist has taught me to deal with moments like this. Now ... I just have to remember them. Any of them. A single technique.
2. I am grateful for the knowledge that this moment is going to end. Like, in a good way. I know these feelings are turbulent and hard to navigate, but they can be waited out. Techniques and tools are great, but, at least for me, they will pass on their own even if I do nothing.
ONE THING THAT WENT WELL DURING THE DAY
This morning I got some good writing done! I'm actually feeling good about some of the momentum I've had the past week. After several months of throwing myself against the wall, it feels like I finally broke through. Although I wish I could find a less dramatic comparison ....
ONE ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL ACTION ITEM FOR THE DAY
I do have to run and pick up my second pair of glasses! These are a lovely brown that matches my hair and yes admitting that makes me feel like a teenage girl and yes toxic masculinity is a hell of a co-pilot in moments like this but I thought they looked good on my face so there.
WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND
Somehow my cat knows I turned off his lunch alarm so I could finish writing this blog before feeding him. Like it never made a noise and yet he is on top of it. This boi knows he deserves lunch. He has earned it. Somehow. By being the very best cat ... in this house.
All best,
Shane Zellow
(he/him)
P.S. hey, I actually feel better having written this blog. Maybe there's something to this whole journaling thing.
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