I may have hit my first plateau on my weight loss journey. First I noticed I was getting way hungrier than I had been for a while, and then my weight stopped going down. I bumped up my calorie intake and gonna see if I can comfortably stay at the weight I'm at until things normalize?
TWO THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (SPECIFIC)
1. Today is another one of those introspective days where I just am grateful for my ever-developing awareness of my relationships with the people in my life. One of the first, most powerful realizations I ever had was, "This is not how I want to be treated."
2. I am grateful, on the flip-flop from #1, for the boundaries I can establish now. They're not perfect and neither am I, but I kinda feel like a wizard in D&D whose not quite used to having prepared Shield and forgets they can add +5 to their AC.
ONE THING THAT WENT WELL DURING THE DAY
I went on a walk today with Cassie. I threw on a knee brace and we reduced the walk by half. So far no negative effects. I call that a win even though I don't love entering my 30s only to discover all these medical hiccups in my quality of life. Whatcha gonna do?
ONE ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL ACTION ITEM FOR THE DAY
Still gotta do the job application thing. I know, I know, I feel guilty and when I feel guilty I feel depressed, and when I feel depressed I get tired and when I get tired I go lay on the floor or something until I fall asleep and then I feel better but the work still doesn't get done.
WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND
That friend I had drama with two weeks ago reached out to see how I am (and I suspect how 'we' are). It's sweet of him to reach out. Shame is we had to get to this point but I'm glad I feel comfortable in some of my boundaries to be chill about what happened, y'know?
Like, the boundaries are only as good as they help me stay happy, y'know? Like, they provide me with peace of mind and, yeah I don't know. I love this blog but it isn't the best place to try and articulate messy ideas. Not a great place to process.
I think I'm just trying to say (last attempt lol) is that in the past socializing in a moment like this would trigger anxiety because I felt defenseless. Now I feel like I can navigate moments like this with much more grace. I'm learning who I am, how I want to be treated, and how to ask for that treatment. Not perfect yet.
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