So. Anxious day. Tight chest. Alternate nostril breathing only works in the moment. BUT on my walk, I lay in the grass under a tree and it went away, functionally immediately. So ... great. I really do need to just go touch grass. If only I lived on a property with grass. Instead it's all concrete.
TWO THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (SPECIFIC)
1. I am grateful for grass. And trees. And the privilege to lay in the grass staring at the sky for a while. It reminds me of being a kid, back in the midwest. I always laid in the grass. I even got deeply familiar with chiggers and tics. That I'm less grateful for.
2. I am grateful for Markiplier's FNaF videos. Fuck it I loved these as a kid and I still love them now. They're great to put on in the background as I write my horror novel, even if I will never achieve such levels of stress through my prose. At least ... I hope I don't? FNaF is inhuman levels of stress-inducing.
ONE THING THAT WENT WELL DURING THE DAY
I fell behind a day on writing so I could rewrite the last chapter I wrote. I use word count as a metric of forward momentum even though I know there are other metrics of progress. As a teen I just struggled so hard to finish things it became my primary form of success.
ONE ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL ACTION ITEM FOR THE DAY
Gang, gotta admit, it is 11:30 PM. There's no time left for me to tackle any absolutely critical action items. But I did throw myself at writing today and wrapped up another chapter. This one feels far less wobbly than the last one so I should be ready to forge ahead.
WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND
It just occurred to me that my current novel, that I started writing in 2019, indirectly came out of my love of FNaF. I was trying to imagine a novel told in the same epistolary way, something kinda like FNaF meets House of Leaves. The only element that carried over was a shapeshifting monster but still. Kinda neat.
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